A Eulogy to Road Yogurt

Posted by palabomeno on Jun 10, 2024

Sometime in March, a half-full half-gallon of milk was thrown out of the window of a car on a highway off ramp.

For most pieces of litter, this would be the end of the story. But a half-full jug of milk is not your ordinary piece of litter. Who was drinking milk in their car? Why throw it out of your car’s window on the road? Why were you drinking milk on the highway? It was these questions that engaged us when we first spotted this milk jug, and we soon decided that this was somebody’s attempt to create “Road Yogurt”, a fermented milk product that involved leaving milk sitting on the side of a road.

Eventually, Road Yogurt became a character in its own right. This off-ramp was the off-ramp that led to our home, so seeing Road Yogurt became something of a tradition that meant we were home. Road Yogurt was our friend, and he always marked that we had finally ended our journey, no matter how far we had traveled.

Road Yogurt has known much strife and difficulty in his life, but never let it get him down. Being a bottle of milk on the road was hard enough, but his friendship and inevitable break-up with Piss Bottle was an especially low moment. Road Yogurt began to turn grey after this, and eventually a rancid, rotten brown, but he never gave up on being Road Yogurt.

As of June 2nd, 2024, Road Yogurt is finally gone. We have no way of knowing if Road Yogurt was finally disposed of, or if he just was moved away to place we can’t see. Either way, it’s all over. We’ll miss you, Road Yogurt. But we’ll never, ever forget you.

Categories: life

Tagged: food

On this day...