Panera Bread's Deadly Lemonade will kill no more

Posted by brilokuloj on May 7, 2024

It’s finally come, folks! The era of Panera Bread Charged Lemonade is finally over!

Yes, somehow, the monster has been slain. No longer shall people have to warn each other to Beware of Charged Lemonades; it finally will retire to the beastly Tartarus of poorly-thought-out drinks, alongside its #Cancelled buddies Four Loko and Orbitz.

In case you are blissfully unaware, Panera Bread came out two years ago with their Charged Lemonade, a highly-caffeinated energy drink boasting a holy-fucking-shit 390 milligrams of caffeine… and then they added it to their free refills loyalty program. With that in mind, it will likely come as no surprise that it has killed two people and left two others with permanent heart conditions (yes, another incident happened since the last time I wrote about it).

Not everyone is taking the news with relief; Panera’s subreddit is full of the exact kind of “think of the customers” hand-wringing you could imagine, some users going as far as to compare it to 9/11. Super cool comparison to make for the removal of The Lemonade That Kills You!

If you’re one of the suffering victims of this tragic event, I’ve made you a copycat recipe:

  1. Prepare 1 tall drink of Country Time lemonade mix
  2. Crush 4 100mg caffeine pills; pour and stir 390mg into drink, blow the last 10mg into the wind for the faeries
  3. Drink as fast as possible
  4. Die

Tagged: 2024 caffeine fast food panera bread reddit


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