The cauliflower thingies from the freezer

Posted by brilokuloj on Sep 3, 2024

This just in: my friend found a thing in their freezer that they say is, and I quote, “pretty good.”

Green Giant’s “Restaurant-Style Popcorn Cauliflower” appears to have come into existence with no fanfare at some point in late 2023. My friend bought them on clearance in April 2024, and in the time that they spent not eating them, the product was just as quietly discontinued.

How does it taste? The verdict: “Like fish sticks.” It’s up to you if that’s convincing praise or not, because my friend takes some of the scariest food photography I’ve ever seen, but I used to eat cauliflower bites back when I was vegan and I kind of miss it, so I’m sold on these now.

But the real reason I’m writing this article is because this stupid product does not exist anywhere online except for a single TikTok. I’m not going to sleep at night knowing that culinary history is moving onto a login-gated Library of Alexandria that’s already on fire. I have to do something about this. This one goes out to all the middling discontinued products of the world.

Categories: food

Tagged: 2023 cauliflower