EGGWARE.XYZ: Rat Facts

Eggware.XYZ produces a NEW zine… One filled to the BRIM with facts about our favorite mammal, THE RAT.

RAT FACTS! Have you ever wondered to yourself, “what do rats do? What do they want? And why are they here?” Ponder no more! RAT FACTS has the answers you need! Do you want to know what a rat’s favorite food is? RAT FACTS! Need to know what rats do in their spare time? RAT FACTS! Do you have a pet rat and want to know how to get it to stop screaming in a human voice?* RAT FACTS! This informative little pamphlet is the DEFINITIVE, the ULTIMATE, and the DEFINITELY LEAST MADE UP of ANY rat information resource! Don’t hesitate! Don’t delay! And don’t screw this up!

Buy RAT FACTS NOW!!!!

*Stoppage of human-voice-screaming not guaranteed

CHATTER: Warden Wants a Dole Whip

As of today it’s no longer a secret that I’ve never had a Dole Whip.

Dole Whips are a cult classic treat you can get at a few places, notably Disneyland and Walt Disney World. It’s a soft-serve dairy-free ice “cream” treat made with pineapple flavor. It’s either served by itself, or as a “Dole Whip float” with pineapple juice.

I don’t know what it tastes like, because as I’ve just said, I’ve never had it. But I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO

So let’s look at my options.

Read On…

GAMING: Smashtastrophe

We cordially invite you to the first invitational SMASHTASTROPHE, our custom-built set of Super Smash Bros. Melee events! Using our super-selective secret decision making process, we have built a set of twenty-five (plus one) of the most balanced, most competitive-friendly, and most fair events possible under the SSBM engine!

To celebrate, we’ve made a video of our inaugural stream for your viewing perusal. Behold us struggling to speedrun Melee the only way we know how: with a bunch of arbitrary nonsense holding us back!

Warning! Due to the extreme lag involved in the production of this stream, this video may be a photosensitive hazard to anyone with working eyeballs. Be careful!

This stream includes a special event designed by a generous donor! If you want to contribute to our works, come join our Twitch streams at https://twitch.tv/brilokuloj and donate at https://ko-fi.com/brilokuloj! Don’t have the time for streams? You can give at https://patreon.com/eggwarexyz on your own time!

Hit the jump for the full list of events.

Read On…

REVIEWS: The Rat-Ron-Ratings

In case you fell asleep from the years of 1997-2007 or were otherwise lucky enough to be spared from the onslaught, Harry Potter is a quasi-beloved fantasy book franchise about a little wizard boy and his little wizard friends.

One of those kids is named Ron Weasley, who briefly had a pet rat named Scabbers. Pet rats weren’t very well-regarded by the general populace at this point, but around the release of the film adaptations, quite a few people found the little rat man quite charming and it quite inexplicably became profitable to sell rat-themed merchandise* to wee ones.

Then Scabbers turned out to be an old man pretending to be a rat to deceive the children, but that’s not relevant to this article. What we’re talking about today: SCABBERS MERCHANDISE! And uh, Ron too, I guess.

*Incidentally, this is an extended advertisement for my upcoming zine, Rat Facts. It’s facts about rats.

Read On…

OCCULT: Summer Solstice 2018

Today is the Summer Solstice! This is the longest day of the year, and the official beginning of the Summer season – as well as one of the most important dates of the year for pagans. The Solstice (Litha, if you practice a Germanic paganism or are a Wiccan) is the height of the year, where all life is in full bloom and are filled with the spirit of renewal.

ASSOCIATIONS: Today marks the beginning of the year where you can enjoy life to the fullest. Stay out late, get yourself an ice cream, or enjoy the flowers blooming. Summer, to us, is the season of excess and we try to make it a point to live up to that every year.

Financially, Summer is the period of time where your saving should be paying off. Over the Winter, and through the Spring, you’ve been pinching your pennies while you look forward to what the next year could bring. Well, it’s time for you to stop waiting and reach out for it! I’m not advising you to spend unwisely, of course… but also you should be spending unwisely. It is Summer.

To forecast for the upcoming Summer, I’ve drawn a three card tarot reading.

Read On…