FOOD: Taco Bell – Beefy Crunch Burrito

bcb00

It’s back! It’s back! Ring the bells and dance in the streets, it’s back! Oh, frabjous day! Celebrate with us, and be merry! Oh, but what’s back, you ask? Dear sweet friend, it’s the Beefy Crunch Burrito! Yes, yes, the BCB is back for a limited time only!

But is it really reason to celebrate? Will it live up to the incredibly high standards its fandom has put upon it? There’s only one way to find out – Read On…

FOOD: Trader Joe’s – Fireworks Chocolate Bar [Discontinued]

fireworks 01

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but we here at Eggware.XYZ don’t care about that. We prefer a much more important holiday that occurs days later: Leftover Chocolate Sales Day. This treasured day of celebration occurs about a week after several more “major” holidays, such as Valentine’s Day, Easter, and Halloween. For those of us who are bargain-minded, it’s a day of being able to afford decent chocolate and lots of it.

At Trader Joe’s, we’ve partaken of Leftover Chocolate Sales Day by purchasing a limited-time chocolate offer: the Fireworks Chocolate Bar. A bar of dark chocolate is seasoned with hot chili powder, sea salt, and popping candy.

Does the Fireworks bar really pop? Find out after the jump.

Read On…

GAMING: Half Hour Games – The Travels of the Dung Beetle

Dung Beetle 01

The Travels of the Dung Beetle is a dung beetle simulator made in Unity by Louie Zong. It was made for the “My First Game Jam!”, a game jam dedicated to people making their very first video game.

In it, you play as a humble scarab trying to find a safe place to bury its dung ball. You roll through four strange, fantastic levels trying to find the perfect place, building up extra pieces of dung along the way.

We’ll roll out our opinion after the jump.

Read On…

GAMING: Job Lozenge

job lozenge 01

Job Lozenge is a lo-fi employment simulator released on December 8, 2014 by Taylor Bai-Woo.

Congratulation! You have been hired for the position of CRATE DISPLACER. Due to the large influx of CRATES in the LOCATION, the job of CRATE DISPLACER has become essential. Work hard at your job and do not leave the premisessssseSmOÛ0þ¼þŠ[¤M‚˜ò*×[¡D P±L÷Ú˜%v°X÷ëwNÃËF$çìóÝã»çîøûéõYv;ŸÁEv™ÂüÇišœA´ÃX2˾16ͦ››½x—±ÙU$<œƒ˜M¦$²$Kgâï[tfÖËÙSTRING ERROR

After the jump, we’¼ç׎·¶ur opinion on Job Lozenge FATAL ERROR

Read On…

GAMING: Half Hour Games – Homesickened

homesickened 01

Homesickened is a short story made in Unity about revisiting old memories by Snapman, released on October 30, 2015. Rendered entirely in vintage-style CGA, Homesickened forces you to relive old traumas to dredge up memories that only re-open wounds. Can you survive the greatest horror of them all: your own anxiety?

We’ll give Homesickened a revisit of our own after the jump.

Read On…

GAMING: A Good Gardener

a good gardener 01

A Good Gardener is a Unity-made wartime gardening simulator released on April 20, 2015 by Ian Endsley and Carter Lodwick. An undefined war is going on, and you’re assigned a duty to help out: to grow a garden in a derelict lot. Day in and day out, you maintain your burgeoning garden while the war rages on in the background. Your only companionship besides your plants is your mysterious commanding officer who tries his best to keep an emotional distance between you. As the days crawl by, the truth of your war effort creeps to the surface while you learn what got you into this situation in the first place.

We’ll plant the seeds of our opinion after the jump.

Note: A Good Gardener is a game that’s difficult to talk about without spoiling the twist. The rest of this review contains spoilers.

Read On…

GAMING: Cuttle Scuttle

cuttle 01

Cuttle Scuttle is a cuttlefish reproduction simulator by Dan Monceaux, Adam Jenkins, and Julian Shank, released on December 4, 2015.

It is a companion piece to the documentary Cuttlefish Country, a film detailing the modern plight of Australian gulf cuttlefish in their attempt to survive in a human-changed ecosystem. Within Cuttle Scuttle, you play as a female cuttlefish during mating season in the Spencer Gulf. You are tasked with finding virile males to breed with, and to lay your eggs safely so the continued survival of your species is guaranteed. But it’s not easy being a cuttlefish: you’ll soon find humans are making reproduction harder than it needs to be.

Does Cuttle Scuttle successfully make cuttlefish more cuddly? Find out after the jump.

Content warnings: I don’t think any of us ever expected having to write this but there’s, uh, somewhat graphic lo-fi depictions of cephalopod sex.

Read On…

GAMING: Half Hour Games – Joy Exhibition

joy 01

Joy Exhibition is an alien art exhibition simulator made in Unity and released on December 16, 2015 by Strangethink. Trapped in a mysterious alien ship, you must communicate with the voiceless species using nothing but the medium of paint on canvas. Equipped with an array of randomly generated spray paint guns, you paint surreal and abstract works of art for them to admire.

We’ll paint a picture of our experience for you after the jump.

Read On…