Why the hell did they decide to make Sonic the Hedgehog the star of an educational game for children? Who allowed this to happen? We want names. Who, somewhere in the leadership of Sega, let this happen? Who?
In the mid-1990s, Sonic the Hedgehog was one of the hottest video game characters out there. His too-cool attitude and the blisteringly fast gameplay of his games made him the slick alternative to the stuffy Mario. And with how popular he was, this meant there was a bounty of Sonic the Hedgehog branded everything: Sonic the Hedgehog toys, Sonic the Hedgehog comics, Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons, Sonic the Hedgehog canned pasta… The list goes on. It only makes sense that Sega would want a Sonic the Hedgehog game for elementary schoolers, right?
In comes Sonic’s Schoolhouse, a tale of bad branding decisions and corporate failure.
This is the first article in our new series, Retrospectacles, where we look back at beloved pop cultural sensations and break them down for the utterly cringeworthy things about them. From Sonic to the Catholic church, nothing is sacred from the eyes of dogmatic opinions and random development factoids. Speaking of Sonic, the poor blue hedgehog just happens to be our first target!
Sonic 3D Blast, also known as Sonic 3D: Flickies’ Island, was a 1996 platformer developed by Traveller’s Tales and Sonic Team. Published for the Sega Genesis a year before the console’s discontinuation, at one of the worst points of Sonic the Hedgehog’s lifespan as a franchise, there were a lot of things to go wrong here.
After the jump, we’ll delve into the history of the band-aid Sega used to cover up the gaping wound that Sonic X-treme left, touch upon the timeline of Sonic in 3D, find out about birds, and take a trip to Hell!
Even though Christmas Day may be ending tonight, we here at Eggware are so dedicated to the holidays that we will be celebrating them for an indefinite amount of time. Though this is partially because the Christmas sale season made us busy with our side jobs, this is also because we wish to share a little extra cheer for those who may not be able to celebrate the holidays, whether because of being busy or because of difficult home situations.
We hope that for those who were not able to have a truly jolly Christmas, we will help them feel the spirit of the season long after the day itself has passed.
For the next month and maybe more, we’ll be reviewing old holiday specials, reviewing seasonal food, and generally celebrating the spirit of winter. Up here at Eggware HQ, the winter doesn’t end very soon, so we feel that the end of the holiday spirit in January is unnecessary and abrupt.
Here in the Eggware household, Sonic and Tails have been very naughty this holiday season and we will be punishing them appropriately by forcing them to pose in our Christmas photo shoots. We hope you enjoy their misery.