Disclaimer: this post was originally written for Tumblr on January 29, 2023. It is here for preservation, because although YouTube has tried to backpedal… honestly, not much has changed for the better.
Hi. I am, or was, a small-time YouTube Partner. I have been described as “somewhat popular”. That’s some context to say, I’m speaking about my life inside the system.
So YouTube’s revenue has been decreasing. I don’t think that’s a well-known fact; this is something they would want desperately to hide, right?
Seems like it can only get worse; it’s in a corporate decomposition stage where the product is about as good as it gets but $ growth is expected for investors. So now it’s cut and restrict the product to get people to pay and add more ads.
– Deleted Reddit user
So instead of taking a step back, analyzing their product or their future, or even (God forbid) admitting that YouTube doesn’t need to make more money, they are now shaking their Partners for our fucking pocket change.
Here are the relevant policy changes:
Against all odds, things have managed to get even worse for America in 2023. Prices for everything are going up while wages get cut. Our nation continues to divide against itself. In my most recent trip to the food bank (something I didn’t even need to go to until I moved out), I had to sit in line next to a working-class guy talking very animatedly about how the government was slowly killing us (true), while also taking forks in the conversation to say that he had heard Wal-Mart was putting reproductive sterilizing chemicals in their face masks (WHAT).
That is why I regret to inform you that, in this time of great catastrophe, KFC has had the audacity to re-release the Double Down.
Haven’t we had enough? Isn’t life hard enough? Isn’t America in enough strife, without having to remind us of our deepest shames? No. Now we have to deal with the Double Down, all over again.
It’s Valentine’s Day, and you know what that means! That’s right, it’s time for all the chain coffee shops to release their seasonal weird pink sludge!
This time of year, Dunkin’ Donuts has released the “Cupid’s Choice Donut” (Bavarian ‘Kreme’ filling, strawberry frosting, and sprinkles) and the “Brownie Batter Donut” (brownie batter filling, chocolate frosting, and sprinkles), both heart-shaped for the season.
Yeah, not very creative. Dunkin’ Donuts (it will never be ‘Dunkin’ to us) is not exactly the place where you get fine cuisine. It’s joked that Taco Bell’s menu is the same five ingredients shuffled around, but at Dunkin’ Donuts things are even worse. Only a fool would order anything except a donut here, and the only real variety is if you want a yeast donut or a cake donut. Frostings, flavors, fillings – it all blends to be one beige blur of ring-shaped pastry.
That doesn’t stop them from trying every holiday season, though. Back in 2020 they had their Spicy Ghost Pepper Donut, which seriously tested us. Last year, they had a Cookie Butter Cold Brew, which we weren’t around to review, but it was Just Fine. They also had a cookie butter-topped (filled? something like that) donut, which we did not get to try, because we currently live in an area where any seasonal fast food product is at least a dollar more than advertised and most of the time doesn’t even exist.
But hey, we managed to get the heart donuts this year. Let’s make the most of it, alright?