The year is 2023. You haven’t heard from our humble little blog in (double-checks) a year and a half (looks again) or uh, two years if you weren’t subscribed to us on Patreon. You can probably guess why, since you’ve been through it too: our world caught on fire, and just as unceremoniously decided it was no longer on fire, which was somehow even harder to deal with than the first half.
Times have been hard. Masks were worn, coughs were coughed. We experienced one glorious month of living-wage YouTube revenue and then watched it evaporate into dust. Chicken sandwiches are no longer funny. Eggs are $4.89. But we’re still here.
I (Will) am still in the progress of dusting the shelves. I think all the Patreon posts are no longer Patreon-locked, so you can go through those if you haven’t seen them yet.
At some point the nice-looking blog theme I worked so hard on suddenly turned out to be automatically generating a robots.txt file (blocking it from Google searches), and I couldn’t figure out how the hell to get it to stop doing that, so I panicked and swapped it out for some godawful unreadable theme with flowers in the header. Today I’ve swapped it out for… this one — which is honestly pretty sucky for my tastes, I don’t like how much it looks like Modern Blogs, and I realized mid-post that you can’t even see the author, which is a big problem for this blog. So I’m gonna have to swap it out again soon and pray that EggwareXYZ gets a coherent theme one day.
But now you can read the posts. That’s good enough for me.
NFTs are all the rage on the internet right now, with basically every single internet artist there is getting on board. Who can blame them? Like any good investment bubble, the prices are skyrocketing with major brands like Pizza Hut, Pringles, Charmin, Taco Bell, and even musician Aphex Twin joining the fun. There’s no downside, except for the massive amount of electrical power NFTs demand driving us further into global warming and people losing their money for what is basically a hyperlink on a blockchain. It’s time for us to get in on the trend, and make ourselves some money… but we’re not satisfied with mere NFTs.
We here at Eggware.XYZ are proud to introduce the next evolution of NFTs: HFTs. These Highly Fungible Tokens are a revolution in the crypto market due to their simple difference: these tokens are infinitely fungible. Allowing for fully democratized distribution, consistency in value, and easy-to-process validity checking, the HFT system can be implemented in almost any common file format and exchanged between users freely with virtually instantaneous transaction time on any common file exchange system.
Want to get on board? Just download our first official HFT below:
Just right click and hit “Save As”, and you’ve got the HFT on your system. Send it to your friends, and the magic of the Highly Fungible Token begins: your friends receive an identical HFT, while you keep your original one. The value of both the original token and the new token is the same – and this process can be repeated indefinitely. By multiplying the number of HFT tokens, you can have potentially unlimited value growth! And the best part is, you don’t even need a friend to make HFT duplications. Just make multiple copies of the HFT on your own hard drive, and watch the value grow. Make five hundred copies to increase your HFT wallet’s value five hundred times. Or a thousand. Or a million. The only limit is your hard drive space.
We hope you’ll share this new HFT technology with your friends, family, and loved ones across the globe.
What a fucking year, huh?
Christ. We have no idea what to say. This year feels like it’s lasted a decade in itself but went by in a flash. All years feel like that to us, but this one was especially bad. I mean… coronavirus am I right?? Quarantine??? LOCKDOWN???? Whoo-ee. In the words of literally every commercial, these are unprecedented times.
We’d like to think that we made the best out of a bad situation, because we spent 2020 trying to do our damnedest to work on our web presence! We blogged, we streamed, we played games and ate food and wrote as often as we could considering we’re both disabled and very broke all the time and also THERE WAS A PANDEMIC GOING ON! Like, holy shit! A world-wide pandemic that is killing real people! But even then, we kept our noses as close to the grindstone as we could afford to.
This is our first time doing a Year In Review Best-Of Type Article, because it’s our first time we’ve really had enough articles to do something like that. Our blog has grown a lot! Our whole web presence has grown a lot… We’re doing so much more than we even thought possible for ourselves. And we have you all to thank, you people out there reading us. In the eternal words of PBS, Thank You.
So hit the jump, and let’s travel back to the beginning of 2020, the worst year ever, and reminisce… on just how much damn blogging we did.
Welcome To Stupid Hogwets!
Congratulations! You’ve been enrolled in STUPID HOGWETS, the most “prestigious” “school” of “magic” and “learning” in the known multiverse! But before you can attend the classes or even legally step foot on the campus, you’ve got to be sorted! Stupid Hogwets is home to four houses: King St. Bee House, Sparkle House, We’re The Evil Ones House, and Minecraft Dirt House. Which one do you belong to? Fill out the official sorting quiz and find out!