So have you been shopping at Aldi yet?? Last week we told you about their awesome chips so of course you ran straight to Aldi and bought everything they have and now you’re a big fan of them. But did you buy the Red Bag Chicken? Oh man, you gotta try the red bag chicken. You seriously haven’t tried the red bag chicken yet?
What is the red bag chicken? First off, it’s chicken. And it comes in a red bag. It’s properly known as “Kirkwood Breaded Chicken Breast Fillets,” but because that’s a mouthful people just call it the red bag chicken. And it’s a sensation! Everybody just has to try the Red Bag Chicken. Why are you even shopping at Aldi if it’s not for following the trends??
Maybe you’re just a little anxious. You maybe got hurt when a bottle of Trader Joe’s Everything Bagel Seasoning didn’t live up to the hype. Maybe you don’t even live near an Aldi and you have to take our word on this one. That’s fine, we understand. That’s what we’re here for. We ate the Red Bag Chicken, and we’re going to tell you how it is. So don’t be afraid.
The Kirkwood Breaded Chicken Breast Fillets are breaded chicken fillets that come in a red bag. Therefore, Red Bag Chicken! That much is easy to understand. Have you ever had a real chicken sandwich at a fast food restaurant? Not the cheap ones that are basically big nuggets, but the ones you get at Chick-fil-A and Popeyes and Wendy’s and shit? It’s like those. Whole little chicken breasts that were pounded, breaded, and fried. You’ve probably had hundreds of them throughout your life. Maybe you even cook them yourself. Well, that will no longer be necessary.
The “red” bag chicken is only one part of an entire line of Kirkwood branded chicken products in almost every color of the rainbow. There’s blue bag chicken, which is chicken tenders. Orange bag chicken, which is buffalo chicken tenders. Green bag, which has parmesan and herb crusted tenders. Yellow bag has tenders with a honey batter instead of a crunchy coating. And let’s not forget about the new purple bag chicken, which has panko crumb coating. All of these are well known and highly regarded among the Aldi community but none have reached the heights of the Red Bag. Why is this?
Fifteen words: “The reason for why this is the case is because of the chicken sandwich wars.” Yes, with the application of a Red Bag Chicken patty, a hamburger bun, some pickles, and some mayonnaise, you can make your own chicken sandwich at home for a fraction of the price. This is the reason we wanted to get into the Red Bag madness, ourselves. We love chicken sandwiches. We would like to eat them all the time. The Red Bag Chicken promises this is not only possible, it is practical.
So, we gathered our ingredients. We bought brioche buns at Aldi. We bought mayonnaise at Aldi. We got bread and butter pickles at Aldi. Aldi fans refer to doing this as “All-di”, a thing they like to do where they show off the meals they made with 100% Aldi ingredients. Yes, they even have secret codes and phrases they use to talk to each other with. It’s practically the Freemasons.
A bag of Red Bag Chicken contains six patties, averaging about four ounces per patty. These are not super big pieces of chicken. I don’t know how heavy a patty for a Popeye’s chicken sandwich is, but these patties are noticeably smaller than that. They also require a lot of cooking time! It takes a total of forty minutes in an oven to get these things cooked, which can be a very long time when you are just craving a chicken sandwich. You can probably just microwave these and they’ll be perfectly edible, but we want quality chicken sandwiches, please. Also something about air fryers, I don’t know, we don’t have one and they’re just convection ovens anyway.
So bake the chicken, toast the buns, spread the mayo, place the pickles, plate the damn sandwich and eat it. Is it good? Yes! It’s actually extremely good and well worth the money in every aspect. It is a little dry – forty minutes is a long time to bake, maybe you can reel it in to 30 or 35, we haven’t tried – but the chicken is extremely crisp and flavorful and crunchy. We even made our own special mayo spread based off of Raising Cane’s secret sauce recipe, so this was even better than anything you COULD get at Popeyes. Seriously, the hype is real. It’s fresh chicken sandwiches, at home, for a pittance. What’s not to love? We did make one little mistake by buying sweet pickles instead of sour, but that was fine – it was just different.
But sandwiches are only one little part of the Red Bag Magic. They’re whole fried chicken breasts, and you can do anything with them that you’d do with fried chicken in any other application. Slice them up and throw them into a quick salad. Sprinkle mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce on them, bake, and serve as easy chicken parmesan. Make waffles and have chicken and waffles. Cut a small slit in the side and stuff with ham and cheese – boom, instant chicken cordon bleu.
We don’t blame you if you haven’t finished reading this article in one sitting. Knowing you, you probably ran out to Aldi some time ago, not even wearing your pants, screaming “Where is the red bag chicken?” And now you’re back home, having evaded the police, eating your delicious chicken sandwich in peace. Well, we salute you, reader. Welcome to the fraternity. Welcome home.