We. Love. Chex Quest. It’s one of the best games of all time. It’s certainly the best Doom game of all time. AND it came with a free box of cereal – you can’t beat that for a bargain! In the classic shooter community, Chex Quest has always had a tiny but dedicated core of fans who have clamored for years for more cereal-based shooter content.
Limited Run is a company of game merchandise makers that, by no small coincidence, caters to small fandoms by making fun feely packs with trinkets and shirts and fun things like that. And wow, they made a CHEX QUEST BOX! Real Chex Quest merch for real Chex Quest fans! It was an instant buy, even if it cost 150 dollars. And so, in April of 2020, we placed our order the second we saw it. It was our little quarantine gift to ourselves. It would be worth it.
And so we waited. And waited. Just like how we were waiting for quarantine to end.
Our order did not arrive until January of 2021. Nine months later. We know it was a pre-order, we know there was a Dang Pandemic on, but oh man, that’s a long time to wait. We were almost at the point of giving up completely on this ever arriving when we finally got the notification it had shipped. Now it’s here, and has cemented us as Real Chex Quest fans. So why not go over it, and take a look at everything that came in it?
The Chicken Sandwich Wars? You guys are still giving a shit about that? Oh man, that’s so 2019. Didn’t we leave that behind in 2020 with indoor dining, seeing our friends in person regularly, and Donald Trump’s presidency?
No no. We’re all about the fish sandwich wars now. Popeyes, after its commanding victory in the Chicken Sandwich Wars, has opened up a new front in the war against meat on a bun. Just in time for the Lenten season, because that is when every fast food restaurant introduces fish items, Popeyes has introduced a new Cajun Flounder Sandwich. What else could be expected from the most Catholic fast food chain in America? Their name is Pope Yes for crying out loud!
But, in case you didn’t know, we live in Minnesota where good fish is hard to come by. Paula grew up on the south coast of Massachusetts where the fried fish flowed like wine – now, you can expect to pay fifteen dollars for fish and chips that doesn’t even come with coleslaw. So seeing any new fish offering, anywhere in this god-forsaken frozen wasteland of a state, is exciting. Add in the fact that it’s by Popeyes, the de facto winners of the Chicken Sandwich War, and you’ve got a winner in the making.
But is it really good enough to give up red meat for? Let’s find out.
We’re not afraid to say it: We hate Pizza Hut! We don’t like it. Of the big pizza chains they are the worst. Domino’s is okay, we adore Little Caesars, Papa John’s we’ve never had and don’t care to try, but Pizza Hut is just plain garbage. It’s greasy, it’s overpriced, its pizza sauce is so acidic it could burn through steel, it’s SO greasy, we hate it! It’s bad.
Yes, we know we’re weird for putting Little Caesars above Pizza Hut. But Pizza Hut is so baaad though! So please understand that it took something as radical as introducing Detroit-Style Pizza to their menu to get us to eat there again. We love Detroit deep dish. Little Caesars introduced it to us, and it’s everything that we expected deep dish pizza to be: the fluffy, chewy crust, the X-Tra Cheese, the ladlefuls of sauce… Oh it’s the best kind of pizza there is, and so much better than Chicago’s tomato casserole excuse for a pizza.
What choice did we have? If Pizza Hut was going to be the second big pizza place to get into Detroit pizza, we knew it would be the perfect opportunity for seeing where the sublime meets the mundane. Could Pizza Hut hope to pull this regional variation off?
Are Mountain Dew sommeliers a thing? Not even counting limited time ones, there are so many Mountain Dew flavors out in the world you could feasibly make a hobby out of finding Dew pairings with your favorite foods. Would Code Red fit a nice porterhouse, and White Out some salmon? What goes well with Livewire? I have a vintage Code Black II sitting in my cellar – what’s the best occasion to uncork that?
It wouldn’t be an easy job, either, because they’re coming out with new Dew flavors all the time. The latest of which is Major Melon, a “Dew charged with watermelon flavor with other natural flavors”. Watermelon is a path that Mountain Dew hasn’t gone down before. It’s actually one of our favorite flavors, so we were of course very excited to try this one out. Looks aren’t everything, though. Does Major Melon taste as strong as it look? Let’s find out.