Posts Tagged ‘reviews’

FOOD: Trader Joe’s – Fireworks Chocolate Bar [Discontinued]

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Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but we here at Eggware.XYZ don’t care about that. We prefer a much more important holiday that occurs days later: Leftover Chocolate Sales Day. This treasured day of celebration occurs about a week after several more “major” holidays, such as Valentine’s Day, Easter, and Halloween. For those of us who are bargain-minded, it’s a day of being able to afford decent chocolate and lots of it.

At Trader Joe’s, we’ve partaken of Leftover Chocolate Sales Day by purchasing a limited-time chocolate offer: the Fireworks Chocolate Bar. A bar of dark chocolate is seasoned with hot chili powder, sea salt, and popping candy.

Does the Fireworks bar really pop? Find out after the jump.

Read On…

GAMING: Half Hour Games – Joy Exhibition

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Joy Exhibition is an alien art exhibition simulator made in Unity and released on December 16, 2015 by Strangethink. Trapped in a mysterious alien ship, you must communicate with the voiceless species using nothing but the medium of paint on canvas. Equipped with an array of randomly generated spray paint guns, you paint surreal and abstract works of art for them to admire.

We’ll paint a picture of our experience for you after the jump.

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GAMING: Half Hour Games – Dr. Langeskov, the Tiger, and the Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist

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Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist is a short whirlwind heist simulator made in Unity and released December 4, 2015 by Crows Crows Crows. In it you play a mysterious cat burglar, whose crime spree has taken them to the fabulous mansion of Dr. Langeskov for one of the greatest heists of the 20th century. Slip past the mansion’s guards, beware of Langeskov’s precious pet tiger, and the emerald may be yours – just watch out for its terrible curse… A truly terrible curse… yeah…

Oh, who are we kidding? We can’t do this. This place is in shambles and we’re not going to waste our time writing a review when we’re not even being paid a living wage. We haven’t gotten paid in two months and they expect us to do a whole review for this game. Well, we’re sick of it. Sick of it. We’re joining the strike. Forget this. You can get someone else to make the jump, you sickos.

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FOOD: XXTra Flamin’ Hot Cheetos

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“Paula, I had a horrible nightmare.”

“What was it?”

“I dreamt that they made a new, hotter variety of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos – XXtra Flamin’ Hot Cheetos – they came in a black bag. I’m scared beyond comprehension!”

“Bill, that wasn’t a dream. Those were real, and you have to eat them.”

This is a conversation that actually took place.

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are an extremely fashionable snack – considering they’re one of the few snack chips that have had a rap written by children about them, they’re unquestionably a favorite amongst people of all ages. They are hot, sure – but is that really enough? Flamin’ is a state of mind, after all. One man’s red hot is another man’s lukewarm. How can we push the envelope? How can we turn something that’s Flamin’ into even Flamin’er?

XXtra Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are the answer. Promising to be “twice as hot” as regular Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, these chips may just be enough to push our taste buds over the edge. Will they hold up to their doubly intense promise? Hit the jump and find out.

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