Posts Tagged ‘review’

REVIEWS: Fantastic Pops and Why We Hate Them

For some horrid reason or another, we’ve decided to look at more Funko Pops! You might remember our previous article where we reviewed the toys of Ron Weasley and his nasty little rat, but we just watched FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM… nearly two years after its release… And you know what that means? Time for some Fantastic Beasts Funko Pops to review!

Fantastic Beasts was a pretty good movie, but we didn’t watch it for the shoehorned heterosexuality, or the non-acknowledgement of Dumbledore’s sexuality, or even because the noted horrible person Johnny Depp is in it. We watched it for those FANTASTIC BEASTS. So why not review the beasts, and only the beasts? Hit the jump to roll that beautiful beast footage!

Spoiler warning for the movie from this point forward!

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REVIEWS: The Housewives Tarot

The Housewives Tarot is a deck published by Quirk Books and designed by Paul Kepple and Jude Buffum of Headcase Design. It was first printed in 2004, and has since been followed by a semi-sequel, The Zombie Tarot. The deck is inspired by the aesthetics of 50s America, with martini-sipping housewife culture. The deck’s “backstory” involves the mystic Madame Marlena, an otherwise unassuming housewife who introduces the tarot to her group of friends as a way of life.

Here’s my thoughts on the deck of the so-called Marlena, under the cut.

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FOOD: Burger King – Surge

Surge…

Want to impress someone who was born in the 90s? Tell them you have an unopened can of Surge at home. Surge was a somewhat popular citrus soda released from 1997 to 2003 in the United States. Intended to be a competitor to Mountain Dew, it never managed to find a solid market and was eventually discontinued. Dedicated Surge fans didn’t take this sitting down and immediately launched a dedicated campaign to have the drink returned to store shelves.

The campaign has paid off with small victories in the past (namely the introduction of Vault, which was also quickly removed from stores) but their ultimate goal was accomplished in 2015. Surge was released as an internet exclusive on Amazon, and eventually returned to store shelves. It’s since been available pretty consistently since then as a total 90s nostalgia cash-grab. We don’t know if you can still get it in cans or bottles right now, but it’s openly available at any Burger King with a Coke Freestyle machine.

Should they have bothered to bring it back? Let’s find out.

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REVIEWS: The Rat-Ron-Ratings

In case you fell asleep from the years of 1997-2007 or were otherwise lucky enough to be spared from the onslaught, Harry Potter is a quasi-beloved fantasy book franchise about a little wizard boy and his little wizard friends.

One of those kids is named Ron Weasley, who briefly had a pet rat named Scabbers. Pet rats weren’t very well-regarded by the general populace at this point, but around the release of the film adaptations, quite a few people found the little rat man quite charming and it quite inexplicably became profitable to sell rat-themed merchandise* to wee ones.

Then Scabbers turned out to be an old man pretending to be a rat to deceive the children, but that’s not relevant to this article. What we’re talking about today: SCABBERS MERCHANDISE! And uh, Ron too, I guess.

*Incidentally, this is an extended advertisement for my upcoming zine, Rat Facts. It’s facts about rats.

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FOOD: Taco Bell – Beefy Crunch Burrito

bcb00

It’s back! It’s back! Ring the bells and dance in the streets, it’s back! Oh, frabjous day! Celebrate with us, and be merry! Oh, but what’s back, you ask? Dear sweet friend, it’s the Beefy Crunch Burrito! Yes, yes, the BCB is back for a limited time only!

But is it really reason to celebrate? Will it live up to the incredibly high standards its fandom has put upon it? There’s only one way to find out – Read On…

GAMING: Half Hour Games – The Travels of the Dung Beetle

Dung Beetle 01

The Travels of the Dung Beetle is a dung beetle simulator made in Unity by Louie Zong. It was made for the “My First Game Jam!”, a game jam dedicated to people making their very first video game.

In it, you play as a humble scarab trying to find a safe place to bury its dung ball. You roll through four strange, fantastic levels trying to find the perfect place, building up extra pieces of dung along the way.

We’ll roll out our opinion after the jump.

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GAMING: Job Lozenge

job lozenge 01

Job Lozenge is a lo-fi employment simulator released on December 8, 2014 by Taylor Bai-Woo.

Congratulation! You have been hired for the position of CRATE DISPLACER. Due to the large influx of CRATES in the LOCATION, the job of CRATE DISPLACER has become essential. Work hard at your job and do not leave the premisessssseSmOÛ0þ¼þŠ[¤M‚˜ò*×[¡D P±L÷Ú˜%v°X÷ëwNÃËF$çìóÝã»çîøûéõYv;ŸÁEv™ÂüÇišœA´ÃX2˾16ͦ››½x—±ÙU$<œƒ˜M¦$²$Kgâï[tfÖËÙSTRING ERROR

After the jump, we’¼ç׎·¶ur opinion on Job Lozenge FATAL ERROR

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GAMING: Half Hour Games – Homesickened

homesickened 01

Homesickened is a short story made in Unity about revisiting old memories by Snapman, released on October 30, 2015. Rendered entirely in vintage-style CGA, Homesickened forces you to relive old traumas to dredge up memories that only re-open wounds. Can you survive the greatest horror of them all: your own anxiety?

We’ll give Homesickened a revisit of our own after the jump.

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GAMING: A Good Gardener

a good gardener 01

A Good Gardener is a Unity-made wartime gardening simulator released on April 20, 2015 by Ian Endsley and Carter Lodwick. An undefined war is going on, and you’re assigned a duty to help out: to grow a garden in a derelict lot. Day in and day out, you maintain your burgeoning garden while the war rages on in the background. Your only companionship besides your plants is your mysterious commanding officer who tries his best to keep an emotional distance between you. As the days crawl by, the truth of your war effort creeps to the surface while you learn what got you into this situation in the first place.

We’ll plant the seeds of our opinion after the jump.

Note: A Good Gardener is a game that’s difficult to talk about without spoiling the twist. The rest of this review contains spoilers.

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