If you have a heart in your body, the Taco Bell Menu Annihilation still stings you to this day. The Mexican Pizza…. The Breakfast Crunchwrap sausage patty… The Beefy Fritos Burrito… It burns. It hurts our hearts to think about, even now. But – what is that, on the horizon? That sound? The sound of angels? Returning something to us? Fiesta Potatoes are BACK!?
Yes, dear readers, Fiesta Potatoes are coming back this March! We can’t believe it! We’re going insane with rapture and frenzy over here! We LOVE Taco Bell potatoes! We don’t have much else to live for, frankly! This is probably the biggest serotonin high we’ve had in about eight months! Oh my God! Potatoes! Real potatoes! From the dirt! In the Ground! They are from the dirt and they are picked by a farmer who sends them to The Factory and The Factory chops them into FIESTAS and they are sent to OUR Taco Bell who puts them in OUR mouths with SAUCE! Yes! FIESTA POTATOES? YES! That’s right. We are having Fiesta Potato Fiesta Times here and we couldn’t be happier. Potato is back and we happy now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Here’s Taco Bell CEO as a potato:
Thank you. Fiesta Potatoes return March 11th.
Taco Bell is back at it again spitting in the face of their customers by butchering their menu. After the travesty that was their recent decimation, they’ve once again taken the scalpel to their menu and removed classics. The damage wreaked this time is nowhere near as severe as last time, but what’s been removed is… We don’t even have the words.
It seems like Taco Bell is only doing this to be spiteful by now. We have no other explanation why they would continue to do this after the universally negative response last time. But fast food restaurants do not normally listen to their customers that well, and when they do, it tends to end in disaster.
Let’s just get this over with. I don’t know how much more heartbreak I can handle.
Disclaimer: I can’t believe this needs to be said, but please don’t get mad at fast food employees over menu changes. Seriously. The people making and serving your food have no control over this, and there are even plenty of them just as upset as you are.
Taco Bell, why have you seen fit to forsake us? We were so kind to you, weren’t we? During this whole fucked up pandemic, we ate at you loyally, and you sustained us so kindly. Was that not enough for you? What have we done to stir up such resentment in you? Why are you doing this to us?
A post on /r/LivingMas (Reddit’s board for Taco Bell fans) posited a rumor that Taco Bell would be making some… changes to their menu. No, they’re not adding anything new. They’re ripping the menu to shreds. Absolutely decimating it! Taco Bell has decided, in its infinite wisdom, to take apart some of the best things that they have to offer. Why? What are they thinking? We’re going to break down these rumors one piece at a time over the jump.