We rank the top 2 female breakfast cereal mascots that have ever existed

Here’s a challenge for you: name a single female breakfast cereal mascot.

Give up? That doesn’t surprise us. When it comes to breakfast, virtually every mascot is, for some reason, a man. Look up Post, look up Kellogs, all dudes. Cap’n Crunch, Tony the Tiger, the Cocoa Puffs bird whose name escapes me right now… Yep, all men. Not a lady to be seen. Even Lucky Charms has a guy for a mascot. Even Count Chocula. 

What about Fruity Pebbles, you say? Nope. Fred and Barney are clearly the mascots for that one. Not even Pebbles herself gets to be on the box. Even the very first cereal mascot in all recorded cereal history, Elijah from the actual bible, was a man.

Why is this? What is it about cereal that makes mascot designers simply go blind to half of the population? Is it because most of them were designed way back in the 40s, when men liked to pretend women weren’t real? The mysteries abound in the world of breakfast. Where have all the girls gone off to?

Well, dearest reader, we’re here to reveal the truth. There are female breakfast cereal mascots, and we’re going to rank… both of them. From worst to best. Yes, there are only two that we know of, and one of them is pretty dubious if it’s supposed to be a woman or not. But god damn it, we’re not working with a lot here, okay? So bear with us, as we rank the two best female cereal mascots there are.

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Furries harassed a married cereal mascot in #TonyTigerGate

Frosted Flakes is one of the most popular cereals in the world, and Tony the Tiger has been its solid mascot since the 50s. It’s a bit perplexing why they chose a tall, muscular tiger-man as the mascot for a very simple flakes-style cereal, but you can’t argue with success. Whether or not he’s the person to best represent sugary corn-bits, he is popular, and he’s even popular with a very specific subset of people: furries.

Really, who can blame them? Tony represents a beloved principle of furryness: an attractive anthropomorphic animal-person who is both friendly and approachable. The worship of food mascots has been a long-running tradition of furry fandom, but Tony has held a special place in this world for as long as furries have existed.

If you’ve ever interacted with the furry fandom’s broader-reaching internet presence or especially its more cherished traditions, you can probably already see where this is going.

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