Poor, poor Tofu. We didn’t mean to make a slice of toast with legs. But you’re here now, and you’re our responsibility. Such is the life of the Wobbledogs.
Wobbledogs | We made a block of tofu that can’t stand up
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Category Archives: Eggware.XYZ
Wobbledogs | Learning the basics and making Gex
Wobbledogs was our most anticipated game of 2021. We’ve been following Tom Astle’s dev logs for half a decade, and now it’s finally here! So let’s wibble and wobble some dogs!
Introducing the Highly Fungible Token
NFTs are all the rage on the internet right now, with basically every single internet artist there is getting on board. Who can blame them? Like any good investment bubble, the prices are skyrocketing with major brands like Pizza Hut, Pringles, Charmin, Taco Bell, and even musician Aphex Twin joining the fun. There’s no downside, except for the massive amount of electrical power NFTs demand driving us further into global warming and people losing their money for what is basically a hyperlink on a blockchain. It’s time for us to get in on the trend, and make ourselves some money… but we’re not satisfied with mere NFTs.
We here at Eggware.XYZ are proud to introduce the next evolution of NFTs: HFTs. These Highly Fungible Tokens are a revolution in the crypto market due to their simple difference: these tokens are infinitely fungible. Allowing for fully democratized distribution, consistency in value, and easy-to-process validity checking, the HFT system can be implemented in almost any common file format and exchanged between users freely with virtually instantaneous transaction time on any common file exchange system.
Want to get on board? Just download our first official HFT below:
Just right click and hit “Save As”, and you’ve got the HFT on your system. Send it to your friends, and the magic of the Highly Fungible Token begins: your friends receive an identical HFT, while you keep your original one. The value of both the original token and the new token is the same – and this process can be repeated indefinitely. By multiplying the number of HFT tokens, you can have potentially unlimited value growth! And the best part is, you don’t even need a friend to make HFT duplications. Just make multiple copies of the HFT on your own hard drive, and watch the value grow. Make five hundred copies to increase your HFT wallet’s value five hundred times. Or a thousand. Or a million. The only limit is your hard drive space.
We hope you’ll share this new HFT technology with your friends, family, and loved ones across the globe.
102 Dalmatians: Puppies to the Rescue | Licensed Landfill
102 Dalmatians was an awful snoozer of a film, so how is the video game based on it so frickin’ fun? This might be one of the best Disney licensed games period. Maybe that’s just because it’s an obvious Spyro ripoff.
- Another great 101 Dalmatians game: 101 Dalmatians: Escape from DeVil Manor is too scary for puppies | Crunchmaster 98
- Will wrote a whole essay about that one, actually: 101 Dalmatians: Escape from DeVil Manor haunts me to this day
- More obscure Disney dogs: RETRO: Fluppy Dogs, or, “They Can’t All Be Winners”
Comment with your favorite Disney licensed game for a chance to be featured on our first Viewer Mail article!
Gex: Enter the Gecko is so FUNNY it’s SCARY
Gex 2 was the perfect nightmare-filled game for us to play during the Halloween season, but we didn’t expect just how emotionally testing it would be.
Crystal Dynamics still owes us a response to our email.
- Our review of the official Gex website on the Wayback Machine: Wayback: Crystal Dynamics – Gex
- We also played ALL of Gex’s boyfriend’s games: The Bubsathon
- Dang, this guy talks a lot: Top 8 games that needed a verbosity slider
Forestia is a NIGHTMARE | Crunchmaster 98
Forestia is fun, educational, engaging for kids, and also has quite possibly one of the worst literal nightmare sequences ever committed to CD-ROM. So uh, thanks for that, I guess.
Half-Life Cringe Compilation – the full box set
All of our Half-Life videos are now available for public viewing! That’s like, over 3 hours of content, daamn! Now including our Half-Life: Alyx playthrough, a fantastic voyage into virtual reality and eating inanimate objects. Give it a try if you don’t have anything better to do tonight!
2020 in review
Unlock with PatreonLet’s Play Hylics 2
Hylics 2 is our GOTY 2020. Here’s all 16 videos of our entire playthrough of this amazing bizarre simple-complex indescribable RPG platformer game!
If that’s not enough Hylics 2 content for you or you just don’t feel like watching an hours-long playlist, don’t forget to check out our review!
Half-Life 2 Cringe Compilation | E09: Bad Orb
This is it, the ending of Half-Life 2! At least until we get to Episode 1 and 2. In this rancid episode of Half-Life 2 Terrible Moments, we break into Cringe Central and confront the grodiest man in the world.