Congratulations! You’ve been enrolled in STUPID HOGWETS, the most “prestigious” “school” of “magic” and “learning” in the known multiverse! But before you can attend the classes or even legally step foot on the campus, you’ve got to be sorted! Stupid Hogwets is home to four houses: King St. Bee House, Sparkle House, We’re The Evil Ones House, and Minecraft Dirt House. Which one do you belong to? Fill out the official sorting quiz and find out!
Read On…Warden and Paula encounter a harsh reality. One that involves exploding bears.
Stick around until the end for a very special semi-animated tribute drawn by @brilokuloj!
Eggware.XYZ produces a NEW zine… One filled to the BRIM with facts about our favorite mammal, THE RAT.
RAT FACTS! Have you ever wondered to yourself, “what do rats do? What do they want? And why are they here?” Ponder no more! RAT FACTS has the answers you need! Do you want to know what a rat’s favorite food is? RAT FACTS! Need to know what rats do in their spare time? RAT FACTS! Do you have a pet rat and want to know how to get it to stop screaming in a human voice?* RAT FACTS! This informative little pamphlet is the DEFINITIVE, the ULTIMATE, and the DEFINITELY LEAST MADE UP of ANY rat information resource! Don’t hesitate! Don’t delay! And don’t screw this up!
*Stoppage of human-voice-screaming not guaranteed
We cordially invite you to the first invitational SMASHTASTROPHE, our custom-built set of Super Smash Bros. Melee events! Using our super-selective secret decision making process, we have built a set of twenty-five (plus one) of the most balanced, most competitive-friendly, and most fair events possible under the SSBM engine!
To celebrate, we’ve made a video of our inaugural stream for your viewing perusal. Behold us struggling to speedrun Melee the only way we know how: with a bunch of arbitrary nonsense holding us back!
Warning! Due to the extreme lag involved in the production of this stream, this video may be a photosensitive hazard to anyone with working eyeballs. Be careful!
This stream includes a special event designed by a generous donor! If you want to contribute to our works, come join our Twitch streams at https://twitch.tv/brilokuloj and donate at https://ko-fi.com/brilokuloj! Don’t have the time for streams? You can give at https://patreon.com/eggwarexyz on your own time!
Hit the jump for the full list of events.
Warden and Paula get duntch’d on. Whitney’s incredibly cute Pokemon step on us for a while.
Warden and Paula meet a nasty rat and get yelled at by a bird.
Warden and Paula visit Slowpoke Well, which doesn’t have any Slowpoke in it. A pile of sentient garbage destroys a bunch of weird-looking bugs.
Warden and Paula take a trip to Sprout Tower.
Warden and Paula of Eggware.XYZ have obtained a playable beta of Fallout 75 and are ready to show you exclusive footage! Join us on a journey as we discover all the crazy new features, explore Vault 77, and meet our amazing new companions.
Warden and Paula make a critical planning error in assuming that ferrets aren’t birds.