CHATTER: Does Super Smash Bros. Gay?

Time and time again, we are confronted with the crushing question: Which members of the Super Smash Bros. Melee cast are gay? It is an all-encompassing thought. At virtually all times we are pondering this question. Could it be Captain Falcon? Yoshi, perhaps… or even Fox? It could be anybody. Anybody at all…

Which is why we’ve compiled this master list of all Super Smash Bros. Melee characters, sorted by how gay we believe they are. This is our comprehensive and completely accurate list, so if you disagree, tough.

Read On…

CHATTER: Warden Wants a Dole Whip

As of today it’s no longer a secret that I’ve never had a Dole Whip.

Dole Whips are a cult classic treat you can get at a few places, notably Disneyland and Walt Disney World. It’s a soft-serve dairy-free ice “cream” treat made with pineapple flavor. It’s either served by itself, or as a “Dole Whip float” with pineapple juice.

I don’t know what it tastes like, because as I’ve just said, I’ve never had it. But I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO

So let’s look at my options.

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CHATTER: Nano NaNoWriMo – Two Weeks In

We’re two weeks into Nano NaNoWriMo! How’s everybody doing so far with their writing?

Word count goals

Have you been keeping track of your word counts? As of the 14th, the minimum word count at 333 words a day is 4662 words!

If you’re having trouble meeting your word count goals, try to adjust how many words a day you’re writing to a level you’re more comfortable with.

Wrist exercises

No matter how far in you are or how many words you’re writing, you still should be taking care of your wrists.

Dropping out

With it being halfway through the month, now is a good time to consider if you’re going to be able to meet your goal.

You can consider omitting the daily wordcount entirely and just writing a little bit once a day. I don’t really think at this point that the goal has to be a book or even a finished product; I think it’s just a good excuse to have fun and participate with friends. (Come check out the Twitter hashtag sometime!)

But if you need to drop out entirely, you’re more than free to. Don’t worry too much about finishing your manuscript; if you feel like the stress of meeting your deadlines is sucking the fun out of doing Nano NaNoWriMo, just stop!

CHATTER: Nano NaNoWriMo – End of Week One

We’re one week into Nano NaNoWriMo, so I figured I’d take you all aside to see how you’re doing.

I’m doing well personally. I was surprised to find that my comfortable daily output is 500 words a day, and I went ahead and bumped my wordcount because 333 was actually starting to bore me.

But I normally write professionally and this is a writing jam for fun, so you really shouldn’t be basing your output on mine. I’ll go ahead and talk about it a little.

Read On…

CHATTER: NaNo NaNoWriMo – Beginning of NaNo

Tomorrow is the start of NaNo NaNoWriMo, so today is your last chance to get your ducks in a row.

Story writers, hopefully you have your plot outline prepared already, unless you already know you’re good at winging it! It only gets harder from here on out. Having a set of notes to reference, no matter how small, can make all the difference when it comes to actually completing your project!

If you’re feeling a little stuck, it’s a fine time to ask around in the community. The community forum may not look particularly active, but it’s checked regularly by Warden (oops, that’s me), who is perfectly fine with answering any questions you have about story writing, tools, or general resource management. Make sure to check out the resources thread, where I’ve linked to my collection of story-writing tips!

And hey, here’s a thing: I’ll admit I’ve spent the last two weeks resting instead of maintaining the community and updating this column like I hoped that I would, but I can definitely spin this into a moral about how rest is important.

I’d worked pretty much nonstop before this point on making new art, but the only important thing about NaNo NaNo is to have fun with it – so do that. Take it easy. Don’t start on the first day if you don’t feel like you can. We’re all here to have fun and hopefully distract ourselves from the crushing weight of holiday stress and oncoming winter.

CHATTER: Kronk.Com

Twitter got you down? Tired of the same news stories being circulated by your horrible friend group, which apparently forgot how to read sometime within the past decade and now just blindly retweets anything – even posts by nazi furs? Tired of popular, functional social media websites rotting your brain and making you paranoid for your safety?

Come to KRONK.NET, our Twitter replacement startup biz, where the fun lasts until you log off! Check out our website’s amazing features under the jump!

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CHATTER: Thanksgiving with Eggware.XYZ

Over here at Eggware.XYZ we’ve had a long fucking month, having published Frequently Modulated and Procedumons only to jump right back in on a dozen more stupid projects we can’t even tell you about yet. So we’re celebrating the end of Halloween the only way we know how, and now we’re going to share our secret recipe with you.

Brain Hurting Juice

  • 2 parts Master of Mixes margarita mix
  • 2 parts Rondiaz silver rum
  • 1 part strawberry Crush
  • 1 ibuprofen
  • Ice

In a wine glass, pour the margarita mix and rum over ice and stir. Once thoroughly mixed, top with Strawberry Crush. Drink. Once consumed, take ibuprofen immediately.

This drink makes a stunningly festive red and green layered effect, which will represent the way your brain feels like it is hemorrhaging after drinking this high-sugar concoction.

CHATTER: Top 10 Goofy Movies that Shouldn’t Have Been Made

We recently decided to rewatch the 1995 classic A Goofy Movie and its lesser-known direct-to-video sequel, and it gave us an opportunity to think about all the sequels that came along the way when they decided to revive the Goof Troop franchise.

Okay, seriously: there have been so many of these. We don’t even remember when they decided to bring back this decaying whale of a series. Maybe it was something to do with DuckTales? The cartoon reboot was short-lived, and immediately cancelled after the Thanksgiving special that gave children seizure nightmares.

Without further adieu, here’s our list of Goofy movies that just weren’t goofy enough for us.

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CHATTER: Top 8 Games That Needed a Verbosity Slider

Have you heard about the new Bubsy game? The quick-talking bobcat has finally returned in 2017 for another venture into old-fashioned platform-style gaming, a mere 21 years after the failed 3D title that killed his franchise seemingly permanently. But perhaps the most interesting thing about Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back is that they finally added a slider labeled “verbosity”, which allows you to control how much that cat chats. For those curious, yes – you can finally shut him up. But who would want to?

Having the choice to adjust the verbosity of a character is a great idea – so why not apply it to other games? We’ve compiled a list of the top 8 games we think could have been made better if they had a verbosity slider!

Read On…