FOOD: McDonalds – Szechuan Sauce

Hey, you! Do you watch television? What about watching adult alternative animation? Have you ever heard of Adult Swim? And what about the show… Rick and Morty?

Well, if you’re reading this review, you definitely have. If you haven’t, Rick and Morty is a sci-fi cartoon show on Adult Swim that recently featured a discontinued McDonald’s promo sauce for the Disney movie Mulan:

Rick Sanchez, a dimension hopping ultra-genius, reveals his motive behind his erratic actions is simply to find more Mulan Szechuan dipping sauce. The mere mention of this supposedly delicious sauce set off legions of Rick and Morty fans, who began a campaign to demand McDonald’s bring the dipping sauce back.

Fortunately for them – and unfortunately for us – McDonald’s listened.

The sauce was brought back in limited quantities as a co-tie in for their new Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Tenders. And when we say limited, we mean limited. It was only available at select restaurants, with most having less than 20 packs to give out. The fans were upset to the point of requiring police intervention at some areas.

Naturally, it was an enormous blunder for McDonald’s. But they pledged that the sauce would return in December of 2017, in quantities enough that all could enjoy the tangy Asian flavor.

Now, in February of 2018, the sauce is back. Points for trying, McDonald’s.

So, is the sauce good enough to riot over? Was it worth digging back into McDonald’s 1998 recipe box for? Was it even good enough to have been a plot point in an overly-popular cartoon? Find out after the cut.

(more…)

CHATTER: Kronk.Com

Twitter got you down? Tired of the same news stories being circulated by your horrible friend group, which apparently forgot how to read sometime within the past decade and now just blindly retweets anything – even posts by nazi furs? Tired of popular, functional social media websites rotting your brain and making you paranoid for your safety?

Come to KRONK.NET, our Twitter replacement startup biz, where the fun lasts until you log off! Check out our website’s amazing features under the jump!

(more…)

CHATTER: Top 10 Goofy Movies that Shouldn’t Have Been Made

We recently decided to rewatch the 1995 classic A Goofy Movie and its lesser-known direct-to-video sequel, and it gave us an opportunity to think about all the sequels that came along the way when they decided to revive the Goof Troop franchise.

Okay, seriously: there have been so many of these. We don’t even remember when they decided to bring back this decaying whale of a series. Maybe it was something to do with DuckTales? The cartoon reboot was short-lived, and immediately cancelled after the Thanksgiving special that gave children seizure nightmares.

Without further adieu, here’s our list of Goofy movies that just weren’t goofy enough for us.

(more…)

CHATTER: Top 8 Games That Needed a Verbosity Slider

Have you heard about the new Bubsy game? The quick-talking bobcat has finally returned in 2017 for another venture into old-fashioned platform-style gaming, a mere 21 years after the failed 3D title that killed his franchise seemingly permanently. But perhaps the most interesting thing about Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back is that they finally added a slider labeled “verbosity”, which allows you to control how much that cat chats. For those curious, yes – you can finally shut him up. But who would want to?

Having the choice to adjust the verbosity of a character is a great idea – so why not apply it to other games? We’ve compiled a list of the top 8 games we think could have been made better if they had a verbosity slider!

(more…)

CHATTER: Stranger Things Season 4

Hey, Strange Things! As you all know, Season 3 has been out for a while now, and we’ve been hyped about all the twists and turns in its plot. But did you know they already finished recording Season 4? That’s right! And we have connections to an actor (we can’t tell you who, but she plays a major role, and she knows what all the buzz is about) who told us everything she could about the next season!

If you’re an 80s kid, Duffer family member, underpaid lawyer, or you just love Steve Harrington’s beautiful and luxurious hair more than you love him, there’s plenty of news here that will make your head turn upside down and blood fly out of your nose!

Are you as excited as we are? Hit the jump for twists, turns, robots, and raccoons!

(more…)

FOOD: Taco Bell – Beefy Crunch Burrito

bcb00

It’s back! It’s back! Ring the bells and dance in the streets, it’s back! Oh, frabjous day! Celebrate with us, and be merry! Oh, but what’s back, you ask? Dear sweet friend, it’s the Beefy Crunch Burrito! Yes, yes, the BCB is back for a limited time only!

But is it really reason to celebrate? Will it live up to the incredibly high standards its fandom has put upon it? There’s only one way to find out – (more…)

FOOD: Trader Joe’s – Fireworks Chocolate Bar [Discontinued]

fireworks 01

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but we here at Eggware.XYZ don’t care about that. We prefer a much more important holiday that occurs days later: Leftover Chocolate Sales Day. This treasured day of celebration occurs about a week after several more “major” holidays, such as Valentine’s Day, Easter, and Halloween. For those of us who are bargain-minded, it’s a day of being able to afford decent chocolate and lots of it.

At Trader Joe’s, we’ve partaken of Leftover Chocolate Sales Day by purchasing a limited-time chocolate offer: the Fireworks Chocolate Bar. A bar of dark chocolate is seasoned with hot chili powder, sea salt, and popping candy.

Does the Fireworks bar really pop? Find out after the jump.

(more…)

RETRO: Microsoft Retires the Zune, Finally

Zune_logo_and_wordmark.svg
On November 15, 2015, Microsoft made the decision to finally retire all Zune-related services. This announcement comes long after the decision to retire the Zune hardware itself in October 2011, with the urging for users to transition to Windows Phones.

Maybe our readers might have a more pressing question, though: what the heck is the Zune? You might have heard of it, but it’s just as likely that it flew directly under your radar, being that its popularity peaked nearly a decade ago and it existed solely as an obscure Microsoft-branded counterpart in an already niche market. Like Icarus, Microsoft tried to fly on wings of feathers and wax; unlike Icarus, they simply crashed into the sea.

After the jump, we’ll get into a brief history of the Zune and exactly why it failed as it did.

(more…)

FOOD: Dutch Crunch – Bistro Blend

bistro blend 01

Old Dutch Foods is a snack manufacturer, primarily known for their brands of potato chips. They only tend to distribute in the northern United States and Canada. Dutch Crunch is Old Dutch’s brand of kettle chips, and our preferred brand of potato chips with an unparalleled Salt & Vinegar flavor.

If you’re eating locally in the Midwest, you’ve probably encountered a plate of Old Dutch branded chips. They’re unmistakeable: they have a fresh potato flavor, are always way too salty. and are soaked in oil that covers your fingertips as you eat.

It sounds kind of awful when you put it like that, but it’s a typical comfort food for the Midwesterner. Whether the chips are tucked into a roast beef and mayo sandwich, used to scoop out Old Dutch-branded french onion dip, or just eaten on their own: it’s a distinctive mark of the region, as you can’t find them anywhere else in the United States of America.

We’ll bring the distinctive flavor of a Midwestern Bistro to the rest of America after the jump.

(more…)

FOOD: Little Caesars – The Experience

Little Caesars 01

Little Caesars is a chain that can only be described as “a guilty pleasure”. Their pizza is typically perceived as lower-quality compared to its peers, but they’re sold at a price point that no one could hope to beat. It’s the ultimate payoff of quality for affordability when it comes to takeout pizza, one that some people say just isn’t worth it.

Little Caesars is also our favorite pizza chain. Being people whose only pleasures are guilty, we personally find that Little Caesars’ value is about the same as Domino’s or Pizza Hut’s when scaled up. We’d very much rather eat two Little Caesars pizzas than a single Domino’s pizza any day.

But how does it really stack up? How can we demonstrate just why we like this cheap pizza so much? And it’s not just pizza on their menu – what about their equally cheap Crazy Bread?
To put this to the test, we ordered our usual: the $10 Meal Deal, which comes with one large pepperoni or cheese pizza, an 8-piece order of Crazy Bread, Crazy Sauce, and a 2-liter soda.

After the jump, we’ll go into detail about Little Caesars’ star players.

(more…)